Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
