hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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