u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
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