honey bunches of taint.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
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he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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