we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
