he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
