oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
