If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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