Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Randomize
