ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
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Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
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She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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