she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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