Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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