how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
