After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
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