It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!