Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
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were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
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Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt