your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Randomize
