Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
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His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
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