if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
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