Four minutes until I can fart!
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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