explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize