I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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