I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
