yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Randomize
