Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
