and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
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Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
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I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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