so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
