It's Friday. Sex?
smell my finger.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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