whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Randomize
