My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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