either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
