hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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