I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
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