That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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