Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
