just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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