Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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