And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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