Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Randomize
