A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
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its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
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In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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