she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
