So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
