why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
