I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
