Texts From Last Night

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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Plan B is the new Plan A

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  (973): Plan B is the new Plan A http://tfl.nu/yxtj
  Replies (8) Good night (1078) Bad night (1010)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?

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  (207): I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal? http://tfl.nu/y7ty
  Replies (9) Good night (683) Bad night (780)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty

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  (518): I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty http://tfl.nu/4081
  Replies (5) Good night (750) Bad night (1548)
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  (226): View more from Ontario

  can you blame him?

  (519): View more from Ontario

  i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT

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  (226): can you blame him? (519): i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT http://tfl.nu/oyzm
  Replies (46) Good night (1536) Bad night (6640)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.

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  (732): i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry. http://tfl.nu/ss0l
  Replies (13) Good night (8658) Bad night (890)
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  (925): View more from California

  Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?

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  (925): Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of? http://tfl.nu/w46i
  Replies (9) Good night (2345) Bad night (1289)
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  (550): View more from

  I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas

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  (550): I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas http://tfl.nu/h91s
  Replies (1) Good night (1368) Bad night (570)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.

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  (214): Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house. http://tfl.nu/po12
  Replies (10) Good night (2040) Bad night (686)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.

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  (317): No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored. http://tfl.nu/emh2
  Replies (15) Good night (1640) Bad night (582)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.

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  (803): She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker. http://tfl.nu/t2n2
  Replies (12) Good night (625) Bad night (1363)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.

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  (423): Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement. http://tfl.nu/2735
  Replies (8) Good night (1505) Bad night (526)
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  (807): View more from Ontario

  It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.

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  (807): It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time. http://tfl.nu/tzie
  Replies (5) Good night (2191) Bad night (524)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.

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  (850): It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant. http://tfl.nu/v68q
  Replies (6) Good night (523) Bad night (1179)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?

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  (850): Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans? http://tfl.nu/94rr
  Replies (1) Good night (321) Bad night (519)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.

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  (330): I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr. http://tfl.nu/4w4h
  Replies (1) Good night (779) Bad night (280)

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