Texts From Last Night

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  (917): View more from New York City

  sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though

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  (917): sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though http://tfl.nu/3mr9
  Replies (3) Good night (778) Bad night (1980)
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  (806): View more from Texas

  Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.

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  (806): Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day. http://tfl.nu/6xwz
  Replies (6) Good night (2573) Bad night (654)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.

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  (519): We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job. http://tfl.nu/nll9
  Replies (2) Good night (2451) Bad night (1076)
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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.

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  (337): Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life. http://tfl.nu/xhxl
  Replies (15) Good night (2598) Bad night (1157)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads

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  (715): Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads http://tfl.nu/v7qu
  Replies (10) Good night (1943) Bad night (1174)
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  (845): View more from New York

  you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes

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  (845): you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes http://tfl.nu/5rry
  Replies (5) Good night (3413) Bad night (944)
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  (650): View more from California

  Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it

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  (650): Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it http://tfl.nu/zs3i
  Replies (8) Good night (3108) Bad night (1174)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.

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  (289): The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am. http://tfl.nu/r9i0
  Replies (7) Good night (1572) Bad night (873)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.

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  (613): We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me. http://tfl.nu/jjop
  Replies (9) Good night (2026) Bad night (672)
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  (661): View more from California

  im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom

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  (661): im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom http://tfl.nu/xude
  Replies (3) Good night (1077) Bad night (716)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.

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  (612): Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up. http://tfl.nu/k33q
  Replies (3) Good night (1781) Bad night (543)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.

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  (501): Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again. http://tfl.nu/b8kl
  Replies (2) Good night (1097) Bad night (318)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.

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  (423): I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor. http://tfl.nu/3542
  Replies (2) Good night (556) Bad night (340)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional

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  (908): I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional http://tfl.nu/0jgi
  Replies (4) Good night (612) Bad night (280)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.

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  (406): That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol. http://tfl.nu/ierd
  Replies (1) Good night (518) Bad night (225)

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