almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.