Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.

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  (312): Text. Mid BJ. 8 points. http://tfl.nu/1rgb
  Replies (42) Good night (2139) Bad night (591)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too

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  (919): Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too http://tfl.nu/1k8w
  Replies (40) Good night (779) Bad night (4299)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision

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  (248): so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision http://tfl.nu/5juy
  Replies (16) Good night (709) Bad night (3690)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?

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  (508): she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution? http://tfl.nu/2bly
  Replies (15) Good night (4763) Bad night (755)
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  (716): View more from New York

  she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.

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  (716): she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives. http://tfl.nu/3y3d
  Replies (9) Good night (1282) Bad night (5057)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!

  (1-410): View more from Maryland

  the part where you beat me to him

  (410): View more from Maryland

  fair enough.

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  (410): what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?! (1-410): the part where you beat me to him (410): fair enough. http://tfl.nu/4y3l
  Replies (18) Good night (7648) Bad night (1105)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.

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  (603): well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access. http://tfl.nu/o23q
  Replies (26) Good night (3954) Bad night (1430)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.

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  (573): I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon. http://tfl.nu/xp8x
  Replies (3) Good night (711) Bad night (1328)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess

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  (215): before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess http://tfl.nu/dqew
  Replies (15) Good night (1949) Bad night (1034)
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  (516): View more from New York

  oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick

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  (516): oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick http://tfl.nu/bh3i
  Replies (5) Good night (913) Bad night (454)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."

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  (770): You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt." http://tfl.nu/x17b
  Replies (8) Good night (1370) Bad night (516)
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  (714): View more from California

  She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.

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  (714): She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap. http://tfl.nu/1x8o
  Replies (10) Good night (514) Bad night (1241)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.

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  (215): I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear. http://tfl.nu/e69q
  Replies (2) Good night (697) Bad night (371)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.

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  (901): The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand. http://tfl.nu/pvju
  Replies (5) Good night (845) Bad night (251)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around

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  (901): I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around http://tfl.nu/mpwe
  Replies (0) Good night (619) Bad night (188)

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