Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(216): View more from Ohio

Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.

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(216): Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat. http://tfl.nu/4sne

Replies (8) Good night (1048) Bad night (1924)
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(651): View more from Minnesota

i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it

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(651): i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it http://tfl.nu/fv1k

Replies (18) Good night (5012) Bad night (1371)
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(830): View more from Texas

You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy

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(830): You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy http://tfl.nu/g7o4

Replies (12) Good night (4369) Bad night (1209)
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(703): View more from Virginia

My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday

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(703): My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday http://tfl.nu/7nrp

Replies (4) Good night (3066) Bad night (813)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic

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(617): There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic http://tfl.nu/g9j9

Replies (4) Good night (1473) Bad night (708)
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(517): View more from Michigan

I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.

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(517): I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/qnhv

Replies (20) Good night (2835) Bad night (709)
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(647): View more from Ontario

Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.

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(647): Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again. http://tfl.nu/40qc

Replies (5) Good night (591) Bad night (1412)
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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.

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(+44): I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness. http://tfl.nu/lp3m

Replies (5) Good night (1434) Bad night (639)
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(516): View more from New York

Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.

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(516): Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly. http://tfl.nu/i5qz

Replies (17) Good night (1272) Bad night (577)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.

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(865): God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter. http://tfl.nu/mtk4

Replies (1) Good night (1276) Bad night (589)
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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide

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(570): You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide http://tfl.nu/eycj

Replies (0) Good night (779) Bad night (809)
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(347): View more from New York

That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.

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(347): That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where. http://tfl.nu/6uae

Replies (11) Good night (770) Bad night (475)
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(323): View more from California

Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Sure lol what's that?

(323): View more from California

Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.

(978): View more from Massachusetts

Why?

(323): View more from California

Replies (3) Good night (881) Bad night (427)
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(641): View more from Iowa

I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.

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(641): I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor. http://tfl.nu/67h2

Replies (7) Good night (497) Bad night (413)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.

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(402): I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween. http://tfl.nu/gen2

Replies (1) Good night (617) Bad night (343)