I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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