Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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