So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
