so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
