i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Randomize
