Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
I see more hoeing in ur future
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