Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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