I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
