I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Can you bring me the toilet please
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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