Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
We don't watch enough power rangers
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
