the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
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