dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
Randomize
