Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
